“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

— Maya Angelou
How to Cope with Mom Guilt

How to Cope with Mom Guilt

This week one of the major things that I am dealing with is right now is guilt.  That's right, mom guilt.  I have been going through. I understand that this is a new day and I cannot always do what my mother did.  She worked when I was real little but I don't remember her working all that much.  She worked part time for a little while, but most of the time she stayed home with me and my sister. Even though everyone's story and reality is different I can't help, but think about my childhood and how much I enjoyed my upbringing and I want to give the same thing to my son. 

However, the reality is I have to work.  I work part time, but I am gearing up to start working full time soon and I can’t help but think that maybe it is going to be too much time away from my baby. I feel like he may need me and I am not going to be there. That bothers me so much, it makes me feel that I won't be half the mother my mom was to me.  Even though I feel that way, I know that factually my son loves me and I know that I am a good mother and that he will be okay, but It is something I am sure all mothers struggle with so here are some tips to survive mom guilt. 

  • REALISE YOU CAN'T BE AT MORE THAN ONE PLACE AT ONCE.  Sometimes we struggle with the fact that we may need to work.  And if we work your child has to go somewhere. If you find a caregiver that you feel comfortable with that will make your transition easier.  My son is with my mother and its great.  I can call and check in she sends me videos and I see he is fine. 

  • YOUR CHILD LOVES YOU AND WILL ALWAYS KNOW YOU ARE THEIR MOM. When I pick my son up from my parents' house, It takes him a moment to get used to the transition, but things are back to normal and he usually shows me some affection before he starts playing again. 

  • WORKING HARD NOW TO HAVE MORE FLEXIBILITY LATER. My cousin is a new mother as well.  Her son is 6 months older than my son and every now and then we will chat about motherhood.  Her advice to me was to work hard now while he doesn't remember so you can be around while he is older.  This is advice that I try to remind myself as I am gearing up for the new grind. 

GOING TO WORK IS ALSO HELPING TO MEET YOUR CHILDS NEEDS. Diapers are NOT cheap.  That is why we are working on potty training now!  For me working helps literally provide all the essentials he needs on a regular basis and later on it will be things that he will want like toys, books, sports, piano lessons things of that nature and I will definitely want him to pursue his hobbies and develop into a well-rounded individual. 

To sum things up, It is so important to remind ourselves of the reasons why we do what we do.  If we as mothers get caught up on not being there for every moment we might miss the unforgettable moments we might be able create with the quality time we do get to spend with our children. Definitely comment and leave your thoughts about when you went back to work.  How do you make it work or what you would like to do different?   

 


After one of my first shifts back at work.  I was so relieved to be back home with my little guy he was 4 moths old then maybe 5.

After one of my first shifts back at work.  I was so relieved to be back home with my little guy he was 4 moths old then maybe 5.

My Water Broke Where?

My Water Broke Where?

A Journey to Wakanda with a Toddler

A Journey to Wakanda with a Toddler